So seriously chilled, I am driving down across from Wembleys in Paceville, coming to a halt in traffic and mulling over the 101 list of things to catch up with on my ever unrolling to do list later that evening. I am brought down to earth and to the here and now by loud banging on my passenger window. Distractedly I lower the windscreen as I can't see anything out of it..it is dark + sand courtesy of Libya and an ineffectual drizzle, streaks the window pane. This woman is frantically beckoning me. I can't place her but in stature, appearance and non -verbals looks very much like a friend of mine who happened to dye and cut her blonde locks last week. She can't have regrown her hair that fast. However this woman is already opening my door and plops herself on my seat with a giant Mary Poppins handbag. My muzzy mind is bemused and is slow to register that I don't know this heavily made up woman in my car seat at all. I'm still hung up on the hair thing..maybe it is a wig. She is an actress after all (my friend that is) or maybe she had second thoughts about her haircut and is grieving for her shorn locks or just in shock. Women get that way about a bad haircut or an inch shorter. I don't have hair and shave what I have left. I haven't visited a hairdresser/barber for over a decade and I can't empathise.
Anyway this total stranger (for it begins to dawn on me - wig or no wig, I haven't got the foggiest idea who she is) asks me if I am going to Sliema. I am, so it is perfectly natural that I nod in the affirmative. She says something about not having enough money to catch the bus and not feeling like walking because she has had a bad day. At this point this is Malta, I am going to Sliema anyway and there is no reason why I should not oblige a tourist. I mean I am not going to carry her on my back all the way and why not. I can't very well ask her to get out of my car, what if she said no? am I gonna drag her out..anyway I have acquiesced and the hoot of a car behind me, urging me to get a move on decides me. Suddenly this stranger launches into a five minute rant, that makes me instantly regret my decision.
"I Vant to party! I vant REVENGE, my boyfriend left me today for another woman, I HATE him!! went to Paceville to REVENGE myself and drink da Vodka..but only young men in Paceville, young drunk men. I bored, I don't want to go home..you party with me, you come with me yes, we go nice place, we revenge, we have fun, KUM with me what you say, hey what you do tonight? come with ME!" she stabs the air with each exclamation, she sounds like herr comrade from some communist sit com and though pretty enough, her face is caked in make up - so hard to really tell- plus she stinks of BO...err I reply "Actually I have to go home and work and organize this party" I say honestly, but wrong word really. "Ahh party, party, party you come with me, forget your work we make reall party, come to my house I live in Sliema, I have lots of Vodka, we party, party at my house,,,what you say, tonight forget your work, tonight I show you party we REVENGE tooo"...the revenge bit gives me the creeps...everytime her voice crescendos I begin to lazily panic, how am I gonna get rid of this nutter and what is she doing in my car?, how did this happen?...I start firing questions, where is she from (Poland), what is she doing here (studying English), how long had she been going out with her boyfriend (she doesn't want to talk about him)..Insomma, I ask her how she knows she can trust me, isn't she taking a risk, I mean we don't know each other and yes Malta is relatively safe but I could have been a seriously bad ass basket case outta one of those criminal CSI episodes. "Oh no, you are good man, I know it", she replies. "But how do you know it, shouldn't you respect yourself more?" I patronisingly retort. "AHHH I study the psychology, the philosophy, the history, I know peoples. I feel it, so you want to party with me say?". Quite calmly I tell her though the offer is very tempting, I'm going to decline, I really have to work, even though an evening of mayhem does fleetingly sound indeed tempting (though not with this revenge bent rebounder), but that is simply the procrastinator demon in me. Suddenly she points to a bus stop. "You can stop me here she says, grabbing her enormous hand bag and turning to open the door.". Thank you and she is out in an instant. I tell her to take good care of herself. "You too" she says and strides across the street, not looking either to the left or to the right. Was she a hooker?...no..she did have EC English grammar bks on her, was she drunk?..maybe she had had one drink too many, but she wasn't pissed outta her mind either.
Last week a fellow yoga attendee got forcibly hugged by a stranger after a yoga lesson who just wanted hugs...maybe it's the vibes. Yoga in Paceville can be dangerous lol.
